Thank You Twenty Sixteen!
Oh 2016, what a bitch you have been! When I think about the nonsense that occurred over these past 365 days my head feels like it's about to explode, but we made it! We have lived to tell the tale.
When this year started I was broke, miserable and quite frankly a bit lost, but this has turned out to be the best year I've had in a decade. I just got rid of everything that didn't serve me. I forgave people who never apologised and I became confident that I am a good and deserving person. I've cried about stuff, not everything worked out how I hoped it would, and I'm still confused about certain things, but I'm happy and I feel like I've finally found some contentment and fulfilment. I believe 2017 will be a brilliant year!
My greatest achievement this year has been knowing myself better and with this greater understanding came more acceptance. I'm great, and I can say that with conviction now, I mean it! I finally acknowledged all the things I needed to change, the parts of me that I needed to maintain and the things I don't have that one day I hope to acquire. I made an effort. They were small and individually quite inconsequential, but the accumulation of it all has made a huge difference. I'm becoming the best version of me. My doubts about myself are melting away and I'm standing firmly for the things I believe in.
What I now know for sure:
1) The most important thing to me is love.
2) I'm a trusting and open person.
3) I am very blessed.
4) I haven't always been brutally honest with myself.
5) I find it hard to say 'no'.
6) I don't like to make mistakes.
7) I make loads of mistakes.
8) I'm very talented.
9) I'm very intense.
10) Life is short.
This really has been the year for 'realising stuff'. Shout out to Kylie, always sharing her wisdom!
Another thing I've realised is that you can not underestimate how much other people reveal to you about yourself. Everyone I have met I appreciate, because they have taught me something. Colleagues, new friends, love interests, even those I haven't particularly liked or got on with, they have forced me to re-evaluate and be better! You go through life truly believing you are a certain way inclined until you are faced with a situation that really tests you, sometimes you surprise yourself and pass with flying colours other times you fail miserably, either way you should be coming out the other side better informed. Identifying your strengths and weaknesses, what works for you and what doesn't, what is helping and what is hindering. I truly believe life is about trial and error while we are constantly trying to find the right balance and this year I became closer to that balance than I have ever been before. Having said this I know I will have spanners thrown in the works from all directions and what 'balance' is will constantly be changing, but this isn't a negative. We as people should constantly be changing, getting better, stronger, kinder, wiser, evolving and manifesting into the best version of ourselves. We can not flourish without change so do not resist it!
The best decision I made this year was definitely to go into teaching. Everyday I feel like I am contributing to the betterment of this world even if it is just one pupil at a time and I honestly found my calling. Now, this is not to say that there are not many others things that I hope to do or achieve but, I know the mark that I would like to leave on the world and I know through which medium I hope to do it and that is education. With the all of my undertakings I hope I can learn and educate! In being sure of what I feel like I was sent here to do I'm even more sure about who I am and that is what I was missing, this resolve is giving me confidence I never had before!
My Top Three Tips for 2017:
1) Be unapologetically yourself - Now this is easier said than done, because in order to do this you have to know who you are, but as long as you invest in yourself, are loving and kind to yourself, forgiving of yourself and totally honest with yourself you will absolutely get there!
2) You are allowed to want to change things about yourself without being ashamed of your current state - I used to be so hard on myself. The way I would speak to myself is not the way I would ever speak to anyone I cared about and wanted to encourage. Woking with kids really brought it home, I would hear how I spoke so much life into them and realised I never took that approach with myself. I'd make mistakes and feel crap, forgetting that failing is a very integral part of life! I wanted to be better so bad, and in wanting to be better I had convinced myself that the way I was was terrible. Of course it wasn't, but until I learned to embrace myself as I was presently how would I have been able to effectively make the correct adjustments? Always remember you are amazing as you are, you just have so much more amazingness in you!
3) Do what makes you happy - This one is so simple. Just do it! Take the trip, apply for that job, cut your hair, tell him you love him, leave if you want to, change your mind if you feel like it, and say 'no' when you mean 'no'. Not 'maybe' or 'we'll see' or 'I'll think about it'. 'NO." Because we all want to do as much as we can of the things that make us happy, but we should really be doing as little as possible of the things that don't.
HAPPY NEW YEAR MY LOVES! MAKE 2017 A GOOD ONE!